The husband is going fishing, his wife grumbles at him: -Going fishing again, I bet you'll be back late and completely drunk. 3 am in the morning the doorbell rings. The wife opens the door and faces her drunken husband. He says -See, you jinxed me, happy now?
A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today The boss asks "Why?" And the guy says "it's my eyes." "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."